Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
