Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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