Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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