Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
