dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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