Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
