I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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