please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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