my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
