It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
