We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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