Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Buhtt sex?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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