I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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