its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
