The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
