I just pynch a tree in the face
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
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you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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