You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
