Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
