Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
