from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
