Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
