I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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