i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
