I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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