i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
