Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize