I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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