haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Someone came in the potted fern
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
