I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
