I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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