Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
