Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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