Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
