Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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