How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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