2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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