Taylor Swift is so right about you.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
