Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
