She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
how does that bad decision feel?
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