oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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