We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Did I show you my penis last night?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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