So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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