There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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