his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
