Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
