pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
