Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
