im drinking this country out of the recession.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize