Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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