Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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