he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
