there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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