I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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