Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
