I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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