there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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