Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
