wat bout pragnant strippers??
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
