Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
