The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
