yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
