I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You're a waste of cheezeits
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
