If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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