i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
