Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
