A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
