mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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