things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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