census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize